Updated: Oct 29, 2021
I procrastinate so much that the other day I put procrastination YouTube videos on to help me stop procrastinating. Is this a desperate act, or what? A few Brian Tracy videos, numerous Ted Talks later, and I nearly resorted to listening to some guy named Tony Robinson, God-forbid, after my mom’s plea.
Well, despite your feelings about the speakers or the venue, it got me moving! And within a few hours I cleaned my frig, cooked and prepped some food for the week, organized and put away the paint supplies that have been strew in my living room for the last five weeks. (Don’t ask)! What I find in all this apparent diversion is a creative mind field! I know you’ll say ” She is simply rationalize or justify her own diversion tactics.”
I don’t think so. As a life-long procrastinator, I’ve finally been able to see the good in the delay; in the pause. This time and these activities, such as the kitchen cleaning or veggie organization, seem to hyper-fuel my creativity, and propel me to do more. It seems to ready me for the task ahead. Now, do I like the angst which accompanies this fuel? Noooooo! It is the anxiety monster extraordinaire! However, even this seemingly off-track post is fuel for the creative spirit, which will lead to the actual work I am supposed to be doing. It’s grub for the procrastination monster!
In the life of a procrastinator this is Big! Yes, I have a deadline to finish a newsletter for my upcoming new fall yoga schedule; create a Google calendar on the website; change and refresh my summer website to fall; and rewrite a syllabus for the college I teach at, all within six days. But I remembered what I saw on a Himalayan Institute online video post recently, on how making one’s bed first thing in the morning set’s healthy habits in motion for the rest of the day. And If I can get myself to do this for something like 30 days in a row, I’m on my way to a new way of living. Or at least so the post goes.
So what’s my real goal? Is it to be blogging machine? To be on top of every business to-do on my list so the monster doesn’t rear its head and make me feel incompetent, and fear that I’ll be living under a bridge ? No, I don’t think so.
Me thinks the goal here is to live my fullest life and to know I am already doing what I’m supposed to be doing. In terms of the ‘big picture,’ my ultimate intention is to stay rooted in the present moment and to not veer to the past or ruminate over the future. My intention in slaying the procrastination dragon, is to be at peace with me, as I am. Perhaps even to accept my procrastinating nature, and say to myself, as psychologist and engaged Buddhist meditation teacher Tara Brach would say, “It’s okay sweetheart!”
Footnote: I got some actual work done today and started my website overhaul for autumn! Even started notes for my next blog! Hooray!